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Don't Wait to Be Chosen. Start Leading Like You Choose. | By: Christine E. Ohenewah, J.D.

Updated: Dec 25, 2025

August 31, 2025


Smiling person in a black graduation cap and red gown. Indoor setting with modern lighting. Confident and celebratory mood.
Christine E. Ohenewah is a Lawyer, Humanist, and Professor building a university that transforms how people understand and claim power. She is the Founder of The Elizabeth Tweneboah Foundation, where she is creating a new model of higher learning that builds creators over consumers and empowers individuals to construct lives aligned with their potential. Her flagship initiative, Men's Rea™, uses legal reasoning to help men build self-governance systems that drive them toward purpose. A graduate of Cornell Law School, Columbia University, the University of Chicago, and Macalester College, and former White Collar Investigations lawyer, her interdisciplinary work in legal and humanistic thought, power, and gender has been featured in Business Insider, USA Wire, and New York Weekly. She writes and speaks on masculinity, legal thinking, and the future of education, and serves as faculty at three universities in Criminology, Sociology, and Law and Ethics.

In my twenties, I made a glaring mistake (apart from the time I went blonde). I spent most of that decade trying to curate my value in all the wrong ways.


What I did was the following: I chased credibility through degrees. I demonstrated palatability to the wrong ears. I perfected an aesthetic for the wrong eyes. I mastered decorum for every crowd. Whether at work, in relationships, or during the next admissions cycle, I was trying to prove I was worthy of being selected. Even worse, I was seeking permission to exist in full. And in so doing, I surrendered the opportunity to build value for myself.


I was showcasing my value rather than owning it. I was auditioning instead of deciding. I was not asking: Who deserves access to me? Access to my energy, my talent? I was not diligently guarding my value, and in so doing, I betrayed it. I never once paused to reflect: What do I actually want, desire, care for? This chills me still.


Then last year, my worldview fundamentally shifted.


You see, there are four types of value to consider. Value modification is what I incorrectly led with—this is when you constantly tweak yourself to fit what you think others might want. Value proposition is attempting to prove your worth in order to be chosen. The real power, however, lies in value creation—building something meaningful that enhances your purpose and that of others. This power also lies in value protection—exercising discernment about who receives access to what you have created.


In my thirties, I have committed a radical act: I have chosen myself. As a result, I have begun aligning my life accordingly on my own terms. The value I now generate reflects what excites my spirit and operationalizes my calling.


Though, do allow me to be clear: choosing yourself comes at a cost.


Yes, you will lose people. Yes, you will forego certain opportunities. Though, consider: Would you not rather shed those who clip your wings… and instead receive those who celebrate you and believe that the universe is your floor? Would the opportunities you forewent ever have served your purpose, or would they have derailed it?


The truth is this: When you choose yourself, others will choose you too. Or they won’t. And honestly? Who cares. They will nevertheless respect you for it. More importantly? So will you. At the end of the day, your stamp of approval is the truly legitimizing force.


Don’t wait to be chosen. Start leading like you choose. Start choosing yourself.












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